EMPATHY PARADIGM
THERAPY

COERCION

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• Exclusion / Abandonment

  • Loss of community, cutting off contact, eternal isolation, damnation, etc.

• Punishment (Discipline)

  • Public humiliation, demotion, physical harm, etc.

• Outside Dangers

  • Outsider agendas, persecution, worldliness, etc.

• Spiritual Dangers

  • Supernatural threats, doomsday prophecies, demons/evil spirits, etc.

 

INTIMIDATION

 

• Leader Authority

  • “Chosen” status, celebrity treatment, exemption from rules

• Ultimate Truth Ideology

  • Sacred teachings, texts, and practices that can’t be questioned

• Special Destiny

  • Divine/cosmic purpose for the group, power by association

• Group Elitism

  • Honor of being included, superiority over outsiders

 

SHAME

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• Pathologized Imperfection

  • Normal human behaviors and mistakes = deviant

  • Group language (ex. sinner, selfishness, pride, etc.)

• Unrealistic Expectations

  • Spiritual standards, social expectations, rules for behavior

• Public Humiliation

  • Confession, discipline, accountability

• Celebration of Self-Abuse

  • Reinforces self-punishment and neglect (depicted as “holy”)

  • The villainization of self-care and confidence

 

ISOLATION + INSULATION

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• Physical + Emotional Separation

  • Restricted access to outside supports and resources

  • Ex. community, family, healthcare, school, government systems, etc.

• Insider/Outsider Language

  • Propaganda creating fear and hatred of outsiders, tribal mentality

  • Ex. claims of persecution, “they don’t understand us”

• Censorship of Information

  • Restricted access to media and outside education

  • Rewriting history, spinning current events

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LOSS OF AUTONOMY

 

• Constant Contact

  • Frequent group meetings, check-ins, and little/no free time

  • Tightly monitored group communication

• Denial of Privacy

  • No alone time, secrets, or private experiences

  • Forced confession and peer-policing (accountability)

• Denial of Self-Trust

  • Fear of your own instincts, needs, and desires

  • Needing permission and approval for decision-making

  • No beliefs or opinions that don’t match group ideology

 

JUSTIFICATION

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• Minimizing + Invalidating Harm

  • Downplaying, gaslighting, claiming it was a misunderstanding

  • “It wasn’t that bad.”, “That never happened.”

• Victim Blaming

  • Denying it was abuse by calling it discipline or correction

  • “This wouldn’t have happened if you’d….”, “It’s for your own good.”

• Invoking the Greater Good

  • Excusing or covering up abuse to protect the group’s agenda

  • Forcing victims to forgive and reconcile to restore unity

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SEX + GENDER CONTROL

 

• Gender-Specific Expectations

  • Women: Submissive, modest, value comes from marriage + motherhood

  • Men: Masculine, strong, value comes from being a leader + provider

  • Explicit rules about marriage, leadership, and family structure

• Limited Sexual Expression (Purity Culture)

  • Rules about sex, masturbation, monogamy, heterosexuality, etc.

• Erasure + Villainization of Nonconformity

  • Refusal to legitimize LGBTQIA+ identities

  • Miseducation and fear-mongering (ex. feminism, the “gay agenda”, etc.)

 

ECONOMIC CONTROL

 

• Expected Investment

  • Donation of money, time, and resources to the group

  • Obligating to share possessions with the group

  • Required volunteer labor without compensation

• Financial Dependence

  • Emphasis on trusting fully in the group’s/God’s provision

  • Control over savings, budgeting, investments, job types, etc.

  • Restrictions on women’s education and employment

• Promised Prosperity

  • Promised rewards for loyalty to the group

  • Ex. MLMs, ”prosperity gospel”, promotions